All Women Are Created Equal, Not All Mothers

ALL WOMEN ARE CREATED EQUAL, NOT ALL MOTHERS

As this Mothers Day quickly approaches, I cannot help but reminisce how over the years, time changes people, especially our mothers.  As a lot of us have watched our mothers go from being the strongest people in our lives to the weakest, we can't help but notice their frailties both physically and emotionally.  We watch these women that seemed invincible to us as children, now become childlike themselves.  But through all this, they remain strong willed and seem to grow more wise and spiritual as time progresses.  It does not take a very smart individual to see that these women possessed something more than what could be seen through time with the naked eye; the spirit of the mothers before them.  When one of my elder Aunts died a few years back, I recall hearing my cousin say upon leaving the gravesite, "One of the last of the Mohicans".  He was referring to that aunt as the one of the last members of a generation where motherhood was more than an obligation, more than a word, more than a simple process of raising children.  It was an honor that was not to be taken lightly and a task that she would die to achieve and be performed to the best of her ability.  Growing up, I watched a woman make extreme sacrifices for her children, not sparing the rod, guarding and nurturing them so that when she left this world, her children would be able to stand strong and face this world on their own terms.  I watched this woman work two jobs cleaning house and cooking for wealthy people and then leave and come home and cook for her own children and never once, was anything placed on her dinner table from someone else's kitchen.  After preparing dinner, most evenings she would go back to work until after sunset.  I watched this woman wake up before the break of dawn each morning, and make preparations for her children to start their day at school and watched her get on her knees EVERY night and pray aloud to God, "Lord please keep my children safe from all hurt, harm and danger and keep your loving arms around them".  It was this same woman who would not hesitate to lecture me for what seemed like eternity, for not living up to her representation of a young man because in her words, she didn't raise me like that!  While these memories may be pertinent to my life, the same can be said for a million other mothers then and now.  Unfortunately, my issue with our society is that is it seems like I often see so many mothers who are not going down the right path parenting their children in the way they should.  I think that if every mother today would take a self assessment of how they are raising their children and what she can do to become a better mother, then I am sure she would find that there and many things that would be out of line with perfect parenting.  However, there is no such thing as a perfect mother, but a little goes a long way.  If you are a mother and your self assessment had led you to believe that you can do a lot more, here are some pointers that I hope you would humbly take to heart and actively put into action:      

• Take a moment to sit and think about all the time you spend doing useless things that can become quality time with your children.
• Tell your children you love them, even when you are mad and hug them while you say it.
• Mama, that's your son, not your husband!  Let a young man become a man, push him to be a man if you have to.
• Mama, that's your daughter, not your sister and yes it is inappropriate to be  in the club together. 
• When you seem tired but are really not, think about the fact that your child did not ask to be here.  Push yourself a little more.  It will not kill you.
• Know where they are and who they are with and what the heck they are doing.  Always. 
• Reach out to other mothers who may be having a hard time and ask if they would like to talk about the situation with their children without seeming like you are trying to get into their business.
• Cook at home at least 5 days a week.  Toddlers love candy, teens love McDonald's but every child on earth appreciates a good home cooked meal.  Believe me, if your children outlive you, they'll never forget this about you.
• Put the fear of God in them early in life.  Bruce Lee once said, that knowledge will give you power but character will give you respect.  I say, issuing out a well deserved ass whipping will give you both.
• Teach them to say, "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" and "yes sir" and "no sir".  The respect factor is invaluable to older people, especially the elderly.
• If your habit is smoking, drinking or pulling a puff off a joint, your habit is your habit so why include it in the lives of your children?  There is nothing worse than seeing a mother sitting on the front porch smoking weed with her five year old child playing hopscotch at the sidewalk (beyond sad).       
• Pray without ceasing.  With all that your children have to deal with in the world right now, imagine if things continue its current trend.  They'll need prayer.  
• Monitor your children's music, television shows and friends.  As Mama Elsie used to say, "The Devil is busy".  If they get mad at you, tell them that it's your job and it's only out of love.
• Teach your children how to pray.  Think about how many children you know, that can sing a popular rap song, but cannot say the first two verses of The Lords Prayer (test yourself).
• Put your kinds in church...even if you don't go.  There is always a lady up the block that will pick them up.
• Learn to make small sacrifices.  A Sea Louse is considered to be the best mother in nature because her young make their way into the world by eating her from the inside out.  You really don't need those new shoes if your child does not have lunch money.  
• Single mothers, it's alright to have some companionship.  Just remember that every man you meet may not be worthy to enter your home and the one that is, make sure he is a man of substance. 
• Teach them about the value of money, the honor in taking care of little things and the importance of cleaning up.  No man or woman wants to grow up and marry anyone that can't save, have no respect for anything with sentimental value and nasty at the same time.  Remember, when they leave home, they represent you.
• Think before you react.  Cussing out your childs teacher does not make you look smart or badass.  It makes you look as stupid as...well...just plain old stupid.  
• And lastly, BE THE EXAMPLE.  There is not a day in my life, I am not cognizant about almost everything that I do, that is solely based on the way I have seen someone do it before...everything.  They way we interact with people, the way we react to situations and even the way we greet people is all subconsciously embedded in our psyche based on what we have seen.  Think about it, isn't hatred a learned behavior? 

So this Mothers day, sincerely acknowledge those women who deserve to be honored for their jobs well done.  As a result of seeing this, we hope that those who have fallen short, will in some way see this as an opportunity to become a better mother themselves.  Happy Mothers day to all mothers.  May God continue to order your steps and bless you in ways unmentionable.

Love Eternal, 

WYLD STYLZ  

          
        

Mary J. Blige Does Her Thing at the Kentucky Derby

Looking regal in red, the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul pulled a fast one at the 2012 Kentucky Derby by singing the National Anthem with style, grace and soul as only she could.  Initially, many people were vocal in their objections to Mary singing the anthem after the Burger King situation, but nay sayers be damned, Ms. Blige received a rousing round of applause after belting her personal heartfelt rendition.  I am sure if Queen Marie Antionette had heard the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul, she would have said, "Let them eat cake".  I say, "Let them eat crispy chicken wraps".